My Lola

Lola, a one legged hooker, snuggles into my chest like a bear preparing for a winter snooze. Next thing I know two years has passed my by and now just now I'm able to blog once again. (cue some sweet rocky theme music) "Because in this corner the one the only...". That's enough of that I believe you get the point. I'm not sure I quite grasp the concept other than I've missed writing. My four follower may be in pure shock and ecstasy to see my words written across the big screen again. Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself. A lot has happened in the past two years. I've loved and lost a few times over and got older. I'm not sure if I'm any the wiser, but hey Rome wasn't conquered in a day. I hope you guys enjoy some of the older posts and stick around for some new ones.

I'm Back If Anyone Cares

It's been a long time since I've written anything. Many things have happened in the past five months that is well worth mentioning. I'm going to start doing something different with this blog and it starts today. I'm going to try and post something new everyday. I will be continuing the same format, but also adding music and movie reviews. So make sure to check back and tell your friends.

+ DISCLAIMER +

A woman commented on my blog saying that I am "mentally deranged..in need of professional help." Painting a picture involves many stages of transformation into something beautiful. This process isn't always what it may seem at first. I suppose this woman still believes the world is flat. She probably believes everything that the church shoves down her throat and than swallows. I suppose allow me the time to spell everything out for those who are not in the know. I choose to write about these stories as a slither of my life. Eventually I will let you know more of who I am. Why be so quick to judge? Is that the society we live in today? So quick to cast the first stone. Is that what your learning to do? Are we beginning to see a theme here? My few stories do not define me as a person. They are bits and pieces of what I choose to share. This blog is intended as an avenue to express my thoughts and feelings. A way to help, educate, and entertain my target audience. I chose to write these stories first so you may have a different understanding. They are original experiences. I didn't start at the beginning by sharing my most painful or happy childhood memories. Maybe I will at some point, but that's not the direction I'm going right now. Read this blog as if you were reading a novel than you can form an opinion at the very end. Eventually you will learn more about your main character as he develops in his journey. We all have skeletons. We all have things we are not proud of. I share these things not be judged; rather, a way to tell my story. With all of this being said enjoy the blog. If not that is fine. I've never acknowledged this as a blog, but I see it at as pieces of a cohesive story daily. This needed to be said because people are so quick to jump the gun and be offended. I don't kill cats or any crazy ass shit, and I'm not mentally ill. I am a twenty-four year old man who is an artist. Most who meet me would describe a cordial, intellectual, and caring man. A man who prides himself on having original thoughts and opinions.

The Magic Trick

Once upon a time I worked for a chain of bookstores in the coffee shop. I spent most of my time browsing the DVDs and Cd's. Looking for anything to do other than what I was being paid for. My boss had a school girl crush on me; even the customers could tell. This crush was advantageous in the fact I pretty much did anything I wanted to. Lines of inpatient people began to form; meanwhile, I'm on my third brake this hour enjoying a cigarette on the clock. Lust ridden words escaped her lips without even talking. Long stares in my direction was an everyday occurrence. We all used to grab drinks after work and one night her and a couple of co-workers came over to my place. She had a slender figure in a six foot frame. Radiation burns affected my skin due to her beauty. I really wasn't looking for a lay or anything for that matter. Her bright red hair scorched like the sun's rays. Curiosity crept into my brain like a college girl drinking "hunch punch". Racing sexual thoughts remained so I gave her a tour of my room. Conversation centered around work because these people lived and breathed that shit. I hate people who define themselves by work, and thus dictates their conversation. It was tolerable mostly due to the slit in her dress. Grabbing a DVD off my shelf she made herself comfortable on my bed. She was on her side fixing her hair and giving me that stare. Approaching the bed I slowly kissed her while pulling at her hair. Soft bites on the neck followed by wondering hands undressing her to the music of Lamb Of God's live DVD. Soft moans escaped her mouth when she muttered," Go put on a condom." Rummaging in my nightstand I find one. Wrapping up my package I was ready to deliver my present. Five minutes later my erection begins to dissipate like a sinking ship. Pulling out I resume kissing her now aggressively on the lips while I was flipping her over. It was as if my dick was being strangled and he was screaming, " Nick please get this off me!" Thinking maybe doggy style would get me going I focused on the noises she was making against the ambiance of metal giants Lamb of God. A while later I slipped out and so did my condom. "Fresh air finally," I thought to myself. The sex was fantastic. She started talking dirty with her face pressed against my bed as sweat was dripping from my body and clenched fists. I paused for a moment while I was still inside of her. Extending my arms towards her face with both hands closed I asked her, " Do you want to see a magic trick? OK than go ahead and pick a hand." Her index finger touched my right hand. Opening my right hand the used condom fell to the floor in what seemed like slow motion. That thin piece of rubber on the floor began to laugh; I couldn't help but laugh too.

The Lost City

Family should be a four letter word; ranging from shit to love. Their are so many things I wish I could do to make my family happy in their own lives, and to be proud of me. Despite age or reason I think we want to please our families at some certain degree. My life should of been so many things, but I am a twenty-four year old fuck up. It's something I'm not proud of, but a harsh reality. Decisions made everyday affect my entire future and those around me. The inclusion of "others" has taken awhile considering my ego. My ego exists so I can survive in this cruel world; survival of the fittest. I've been fired from more jobs than I care to disclose. Multiple times a day the phone rings from debt collectors. Student loans are such a bitch. A time machine would be convenient so I may make some better decisions. I wish my student loans was only my problem; however, my mom was the cosigner. Unemployed, broken, and full of dreams I wait. I wait for a solution to fall from the sky. Divine intervention or a miracle is what I want. I heard the only time success comes before work is in the dictionary. Knowing this I still want a quick way to be successful. Achieving success or happiness seems like a faint idea. The same year I find this maybe Atlantis will be discovered as well. Money does not equal happiness, but sometimes I think it would help a lot. I scurry below the poverty line and I was raised in the upper middle class. The life of private education, three car garages, and four bedroom houses. My family was not rich, but I received what I needed and a lot of what I wanted. A cockroach in the dark I look for food and the other necessities missing in a life of discomfort. I am the outskirts of society. I am the long haired, bearded, tattooed, and educated underground. I am tomorrows leader with a social revolution in mind. I am a part of a family with the intentions of starting my own in the future. I am a somebody with a name that will be remembered. I am Nick X; an example of a lost generation who are suffering in times of war; both mentally and physically. I am a puzzle piece that does not fit. I am the carver who will have to cut his own place in society.

The Coffee Shop

It's funny that people surround us all day, yet a feeling of loneliness sweeps across my body. Sitting at the coffee shop I glance in different directions looking at the sexy woman all around. Can't beat the woman here in Florida. Sexy soccer moms, hot college woman, and some professional woman all around. Is the coffee shop the new breeding grounds. Ambiance is romantic and dozens of conversations are going on all around me. With ease I cold mozie on over and make some mindless chatter. Bay Coast Coffee Market is quite the concept. In all honesty fuck Starbucks. Real fucking people frequent this coffee bistro. Smells of pizza and the aroma of delicious deserts arouse my sense of smell. Round beautiful asses are crammed into tight jeans. Concentration sounds like a foreign word at this moment. Some people were supposed to meet me out, but I figured I would start my night out solo before venturing into the wild world. My cigarette buds are starting to collect like a vintage coin collection. The modern decor surrounding me is the only thing that feels off. Authentic coffee shops are hard to come by this day in age. The decor actually is reminiscent of Panera Bread. One blonde in particular is the apple of my way; for the time being. A walking, fucking, chain smoking Florida barbie doll. These woman make no sense to me. Fretting over the most trivial things as if the world should bend over because of their beauty. This reason alone is not enough for me to be attracted to her. Who knows maybe this one has an independent freed mind. Not a regurgitated walking robot who spews out what she heard on CNN to form her opinion. I don't mean to sound stereotypical or judgemental; however, the truth can hurt. My attention has shifted too many times in such a short time span. I should of find a seat in the corner facing a wall. I imagine a catholic school in the 1930's when a man first notices a woman. Nip it in the but and send him to the corner Sister Mary. Extinguishing her cigarette abruptly; she gets up and leaves. She blows a kiss to her girlfriends followed by a ciao. It's a good thing chain smoking barbies are a dime dozen. Thoughts of leaving cross my mind so I start packing up my belongings. On the other hand I'll stick around and see what catches my eye.

Ace Of Spades

I've pissed away more relationships than I care to mention. I look at friends like a deck of cards; different designs on the back but the same value. Women have spreed like wildfire and disappeared like a summers breeze. I think If I was stock I would constantly be dropping. So many friendships have dissipated due to my stubbornness. They are equally hard-headed so that never helped. I walked into the bar one night and everywhere I turned I saw talking heads. The cattle tended to the trough as I attempted to split the Red Sea of humans. A young woman with a large chest caught my eye. She had a great body with short black hair. She seemed like the classic femme fa tale. My most primitive side wanted to experience this wild creature. I approached her like a lion on his hunt. The words danced off my lips as she began to laugh. She had porcelain skin decorated with strategically placed tattoos. Gazing into her walnut colored eyes put me into some type of trance. I kept reminding myself that I can't let her get the upper hand. Her laugh was somewhat soothing to me. Smoke filled the air and my testorone was pumping through my veins. Pheromones were being emitted as I placed my hand on the curve of her back. I leaned in by the pool table to whisper in her ear; " You want to go somewhere quiet"? A smile exited her face promptly following a slight bite of her lower lip. "I came here with some friends. Let me talk to them and than maybe you can take me to my place?" I lit up another cigarette and waited outside. I didn't want to wait around like a puppy dog in front her friends. Especially the guy friends who have probably been wanting to fuck this girl for years. The ride to her house was relatively casual. Casual conversation was than surpassed by her revealing some of the skeletons of her past. My emotional intelligence is high and I'm able to be open and par take in this conversation, but I have no idea why she is revealing so much. I'm assuming a potent mix of liquor throughout the night has left her in a emotional state. She resided with her parents' which was a drag. There is no way in hell I am going to step into her house. The last thing I need is to get caught fucking daddy's little girl. I suggested the nearby park because I am familiar with this neighborhood. Metal blasted from my car for hours as we talked, kissed, and made "love". It was sensual. Sparks flew from my fingertips and into hers. I felt a true connection with this woman. We spent the next four days together and than she disappeared like that summer breeze I was talking about. I never knew why she stopped talking to me. Her need for me must of been dire. Perfection is sometimes hard to recapture. In all honesty that was probably the best four days I can remember. We shared so many moments with each other that some people may never experience. I suppose she needed to hold onto this perfect picture we created in her back pocket for rainy days. It could of been my picture and I was just a fuck to her. My whiskey soaked deck of cards she was the ace of spades.