The Lost City

Family should be a four letter word; ranging from shit to love. Their are so many things I wish I could do to make my family happy in their own lives, and to be proud of me. Despite age or reason I think we want to please our families at some certain degree. My life should of been so many things, but I am a twenty-four year old fuck up. It's something I'm not proud of, but a harsh reality. Decisions made everyday affect my entire future and those around me. The inclusion of "others" has taken awhile considering my ego. My ego exists so I can survive in this cruel world; survival of the fittest. I've been fired from more jobs than I care to disclose. Multiple times a day the phone rings from debt collectors. Student loans are such a bitch. A time machine would be convenient so I may make some better decisions. I wish my student loans was only my problem; however, my mom was the cosigner. Unemployed, broken, and full of dreams I wait. I wait for a solution to fall from the sky. Divine intervention or a miracle is what I want. I heard the only time success comes before work is in the dictionary. Knowing this I still want a quick way to be successful. Achieving success or happiness seems like a faint idea. The same year I find this maybe Atlantis will be discovered as well. Money does not equal happiness, but sometimes I think it would help a lot. I scurry below the poverty line and I was raised in the upper middle class. The life of private education, three car garages, and four bedroom houses. My family was not rich, but I received what I needed and a lot of what I wanted. A cockroach in the dark I look for food and the other necessities missing in a life of discomfort. I am the outskirts of society. I am the long haired, bearded, tattooed, and educated underground. I am tomorrows leader with a social revolution in mind. I am a part of a family with the intentions of starting my own in the future. I am a somebody with a name that will be remembered. I am Nick X; an example of a lost generation who are suffering in times of war; both mentally and physically. I am a puzzle piece that does not fit. I am the carver who will have to cut his own place in society.